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Naïve Realism.

Do you suffer from naïve realism? Do you tend to believe that the way you see things is the truth, that the way you see things is not a reflection of who you are but how it is?

Naïve realism is when we believe that the way we see things is the way they are: we don’t realise that we see the world as we are. We see it through the lens of our past forming.

Another dimension of this is when we think that principles from the physical world can be directly transferred to the human and interpersonal world.

An example of this is if we feel bad, stressed, or frustrated and we believe this can be fixed by changing the physical problem. We want to fix the thing that frustrates us. Similarly, we sometimes think we can run away from our problems – solve them by removing ourselves physically from that particular place. But, guess what? The problems come along with us, wherever we go!

Currently, I have many challenges with a leaking pool. Many trades have tried, yet the problem prevails. One way of seeing something like this is feeling that if I just sort this problem out, everything will be fine. And this is part of what drives us to ‘fix’ things in our life, wanting to feel ok emotionally.

Yet I can be fine even with a leaking pool. I can be absolutely calm, joyful, and grateful with a leaking pool. So I don’t need to fix the pool to feel fine.

Yet another dimension of this is wanting things to be ‘sorted’, to be finished, settled, over and done with. In busy family life, this might manifest as wanting to get dinner over with, get the children bathed and to bed, get the washing up done. But in the drive to complete these tasks, what are we missing? The experience of course and also the understanding that challenges, conflict or mishaps are part of life, they are experiences to be had.

In the mindset of ‘getting it over and done with’ we forget that everything changes all the time, and nothing is final, nothing stays the same. We may finish a book or complete a task but a situation is never completely gone. Remnants of it live with us, shape us, form us and result in a different life experience going forward, as we are now influenced and affected by the experience we have had. Potentially we now make different choices and take different trajectories. The book on the other hand, once read is just lying there done – at least till it starts to disintegrate.

When we understand how naïve realism works, we notice we live in a task mode rather than life mode. We see life as a set of tasks that need to be done versus appreciating and experiencing the ride and that includes the ‘doing’.

When we ‘get’ naïve realism, we also notice how words and thinking camouflage reality. (To hear more about this, check out the latest Hey Soul Sista podcast below.)

When we ‘get’ naïve realism, we see it as a program, a faulty program that we need to break free of.

When we ‘get’ naïve realism, we start to simply feel freer.

When we ‘get’ naïve realism, it is so much easier to be present.

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