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  • The wisdom that mindfulness uncovers

    December 6th, 2017

      “Follow your Bliss…”Joseph Campbell   You might have found mindfulness through the need to reduce stress, you might be using little techniques to reduce being overwhelmed, or you might have seen me for deeper work on reducing some old wounds that keep you stuck.  Mindfulness might also be providing you with a wondrous life-ride of experiencing more inner freedom and delight.   You might have wondered ‘if I am not my thoughts, feelings and sensations, who am I?’  You Read More

    Going back to the roots of Buddhism – confidence and what takes it away

    November 7th, 2017

    Is confidence something that is dependent on how you behave and what you do?  Or is it an intrinsic thing?  Can we feel confident when we feel ashamed?   Confidence ‘con–fido’ means with trust. When we are with trust, we are at peace, we are able to appreciate the unfolding of life and enjoy it.  When we feel shame we have no trust that we are ok; in fact we feel that we are deeply flawed.  The other problem with Read More

    Is that how you want to live your life?

    October 12th, 2017

      Follow your bliss – Joseph Campbell Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, in “The Danger of the Single Story”, highlights how we are all shaped by the dominant stories in our society. The dominant story is the most common one, the one we most buy into.  The common story becomes the ‘neutral’.  The dominant story provides us with a sense of ‘that is just how it is’ or it is so implicit that we don’t questions it at all. There are dominant Read More

    What do we do when someone does the wrong thing by us?

    September 7th, 2017

      What do we do when someone does the wrong thing by us? When their ability to make excuses for themselves is endless and you realise you cannot penetrate the protective and dedicated thought processes that are programmed to ensure the ‘self’ gets what it wants?   You breathe and notice the sensations in the body.   You lick your wounds and re-calibrate.  You acknowledge that you have been wounded, not seen, and you take care of that wounded part with Read More

    Three Holiday Observations

    August 11th, 2017

    This blog is a little different as I have been on a break in Denmark and am writing from there.  Here are a couple of holiday observations:   The Baby Seal On one evening walk we noticed a baby seal. It was lying quite still, occasionally shifting the head a little. We assumed it was wounded or sick, and felt sorry for it as it was lying there all-alone in the world. We contacted a wildlife rescue office and explained Read More

    We can only abuse what we feel disconnected from

    July 5th, 2017

      “When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another – and ourselves.” – Jack Kornfield Our relationship with the body can be seen as a microcosm of our relationship with the planet. Right now can you sense your body? Can you sense the inner sensations? What are your senses experiencing? We tend to identify with our thoughts and are therefore disconnected from the body. Journalist Thea O’Connor at the Happiness Read More

    Dealing with winter blues or just the low moments

    June 8th, 2017

      She had a big story to tell.   Many challenging things had happened to her during the past ten years and as a result she was now taking five different medications to help treat depression, anxiety and insomnia. Once we get a diagnosis we easily feel that there is something permanently “wrong” with me, that I am not right, that I am not able to cope. I can’t tell you how often people have left after their first appointment Read More

    Contented as opposed to Overwhelmed, Stressed and Dissatisfied – Six Key Elements

    May 4th, 2017

      We were sitting on an old log overlooking the beautiful landscape;  cattle grazing ,  drifting clouds, green fields, the sound of birds and a gentle breeze. He looked harassed and stressed. I asked him what he was hoping to feel once the project that he was working on was completed. He hesitated while   thinking about the answer… Appreciation?  Success? Happiness? After a pause he replied: “No. Contentment”. I asked him to listen to the birds, feel the log beneath Read More

    Do you feel time poor?

    April 12th, 2017

      I just started reading an article that describes us ‘as a society of time-poor individuals’. This is nonsense for many reasons. There is no such thing as time, there is simply one big Now in which everything arises and decays. We live in one big moment. In this moment we do things, we keep busy! The illusion of time arises due to us observing change. We live in an overloaded world, full of information, events, things we think we Read More

    Seeing Clearly

    March 8th, 2017

      Historically, mindfulness has been called ‘the heart’ of Buddhism as mindfulness is at the core of teachings of the Buddha. These teachings are traditionally described by the Sanskrit word Dharma, which means lawfulness or ‘the way things are’. One of the things I deeply appreciate about Buddhism is this ‘lawfulness’ that underpins it and that of course is why research backs up the practice of mindfulness. Lawfulness relates to all people, past and present, irrespective of context, what you Read More

    What relational field is forming your brain?

    February 1st, 2017

    “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it. ” ― Thich Nhat Hanh I was 19 and on the train to Coffs Harbour, Kathy was on her way back to Grafton. She was 75, and studying Geography at Uni, she was so cool, so alive. We agreed that I would visit her in Grafton. We had a wonderful day together, I felt enriched through having met her. At the end of Read More

    Small Steps – Big Changes

    January 5th, 2017

    Draw three circles within each other and in the inner circle place the names of people whom you consider real friends. If you are lucky you will write a few names in this circle. In the next circle you place those whose company you enjoy. You might have similar interests, they might make you laugh or make you feel good somehow. You are likely to have many more in this circle. In the final circle name those ‘friends’ who are Read More

    Who you are in the moment

    November 30th, 2016

    He swerved into my lane as I was passing.   Immediately I pulled the car further to the right to avoid him.  The car wobbled and then stabilized.  After this, a number of overwhelming body sensations flowed in – heart pounding, shakiness and weak knees. This was immediately followed by projecting thoughts of; ‘stupid four wheel drives, poorly built cars, idiot of a driver, men, etc’.   In that moment; ‘the car is a ridiculous car and the driver an Read More

    Oneness or Me: Five Integration Points of Me with Oneness

    November 4th, 2016

    “The state of consciousness that a great majority of humanity is in is not natural. It’s altered. It’s called separation. Separation is the ultimate altered state of consciousness.” – Adyashanti Before I found mindfulness I had been reading a lot of Eckhart Tolle’s writings as well as other spiritual teachers and loved it all.  But there were two challenges with it. The first challenge was that there was very little ‘how to’ or tools for how to start living in Read More

    Community through vulnerability

    October 7th, 2016

    “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect” – Kristin Neff, Ph.D. Have you ever been surprised at hearing what someone that you thought had the perfect life was going through? How often do we actually really see each other, versus just seeing our projection of the other person? Seeing each other Read More

    Mindfulness and the ‘Drive’ state

    September 1st, 2016

      “What matters most must never come at the cost of what matters least“ The biggest challenge for many of us is to change or adopt new habits.  Even if we know that these habits will make us much happier and healthier, it is likely that we just don’t do them.  And so it is with Mindfulness.  In all the years I have been facilitating mindfulness, the biggest challenge without a doubt is to keep up the practice. Everyone who Read More

    Your Anchor in the midst of Chaos

    August 4th, 2016

    “If you don’t go within, you go without” Have you ever thought how much your attention is focused on the outside world versus how much it is resting within? Take a moment; close your eyes and notice how different the world is with them closed.  Now follow the breath allowing the out breath to sink deep into the body and notice how this feels. The experience of peace and calm is right under our noses, literally!  All we need to Read More

    Mystery, Interconnectedness and Interdependence

    July 1st, 2016

    My mind says I am nothing, and my heart says I am everything – Jack Kornfield.  Today my family and I were were sitting outside enjoying lunch at a café in Provence when some Danish friends walked past.  They were also on holidays with their adult children.  We first met in a tailor shop in Bangkok over thirty years ago!  Between the tailor’s measurements that long time ago we started talking, and soon realized that they were to spend a Read More

    Culture vs Strategy

    June 3rd, 2016

    “Culture eats strategy for breakfast” is a commonly used saying in leadership and no one exemplifies it better than Jane Cay of Birdsnest. Ranked by BWR the 8th ‘best place to work’, Birdsnest is increasingly seen as a model for the healthy joyful and creative place to work.  I had the pleasure of partnering with Jane for our Mindful Leadership retreat in Bali last week and her disarmingly honest and warm example of modelling ‘Excellence in Leadership’ is inspiring. No Read More

    Our most noble servant: How to release old wounds

    May 6th, 2016

      The whole family stepped into the huge rotating door at the entry of the  shopping centre.  The youngest a boy of about five, pushed on the  opposite side of the door, and it jolted.   The huge door then stopped and  after a few moments it started again and then it stopped completely.  The  little boy looked frightened and bewildered; could he really have caused  this? I wondered what internalized beliefs might be concluded in that moment, beliefs that will Read More

    What can Buddhism do for you?

    March 31st, 2016

    When I run retreats or do corporate work there are some consistent themes around what people are hoping that mindfulness will do for them.  The themes are around: less stress, being overwhelmed, reactivity, better sleep (not waking up unable to switch off thoughts), more inner peace, presence and enjoyment.  We tend to think that once I have done what is on the to-do-list or got the new house or gotten married or divorced then these issues will change.   Of course Read More

    How to break a habit

    March 4th, 2016

    Do you have a habit that you would like to break or would you like to introduce a new habit? You might find that when you drive in the driveway after work the mind says: ‘wine and snacks’.  You might find it hard to at times stop yelling at your children, or not getting caught in the disapproval of how your partner eats.  Or perhaps you have tried to start exercising and it lasts a couple of weeks and then Read More

    10 minutes a day: Our ABC Radio interview on Mindfulness and Mindful Eating

    February 11th, 2016

    Recently I spoke with Jill Emberson of ABC Radio about how our Mindful Eating focus began, my thoughts on the diet / binge cycle and how stress and emotions affect our weight. Mindfulness is the missing link in the diet, exercise and wellbeing space that helps us get out of the conflict between the mind and the body.  If you missed the airing of our interview I invite you to listen in to the recording here for some more insights on Mindful Read More

    The secret to being happy

    February 4th, 2016

    I have just returned from two amazing retreats in the US.  The first was with Jack Kornfield and Dan Siegel.  The backing up of Buddhist Psychology by Science is simply dazzling. Scientists agree that there’s oxygen from ocean plants in every breath we take. Most of this oxygen comes from phytoplankton that live near the water’s surface.  As with nearly all other plants on this earth, phytoplankton photosynthesizes using sunlight and carbon dioxide to make food.  The byproduct of this Read More

    Growing up and Waking up:  Untethering with Curiosity, Gratitude and Courage

    January 7th, 2016

      The elephant at the circus intrigued the little boy.  As he approached the elephant he suddenly realized the danger this huge animal posed. His father reassured him that the elephant was chained and was not able to move far.  The elephant trainer corrected the father; the chain actually was not bolted down, however the elephant had been chained from a very young age and so associated the feeling of the chain around the ankle with not being able to Read More

    Kindness – 5 Christmas Suggestions

    December 3rd, 2015

    When we feel connected, loved and we love, we see life with the clearest eyes. We see and feel the bigger ocean of awareness that is within us, we experience ourselves beyond fear. We are also aware of the multiple benefits in being kind; but are we at times just kind for our own sake? Might the science of kindness take some of the magic and true meaning of it away? Acts of Kindness to inspire Before I arrived in Read More

    We protect what we fall in love with

    November 6th, 2015

        What best characterizes your relationship with your body?   Do you speak to it in terms of endearment: ‘dear body’ or does it have more of an abusive tone to it? Or is it just something that now needs another haircut, is putting on a little weight, is tired, is a bit sore at times?   During our Mindful Eating retreats, participants are asked what they think their bodies say about them: ‘Lazy, pathetic, weak and un-disciplined are Read More

    We were promised nothing – a little gold nugget

    October 1st, 2015

    Do you ever do a little spring clean of the mind and discard the faulty underlying assumptions to make space for new, fresh and healthy ones? One of the many things I love about Buddhism is that there is no leap of faith required.  It is simply based in careful observation of reality.  This is of course why the ancient practice is backed up by neuroscience and also why Buddhism contains so many profoundly healthy and sound observations about life. Read More

    “Namaste” – May the light in me greet the light in you

    September 3rd, 2015

    “Namaste” – May the light in me greet the light in you.  This greeting is a spiritual greeting, taking us beyond what we see, beyond our own projections. There are many interpretations of Namaste, but this is my favourite. What is spirituality? What do you think it is?  Jot down your thoughts before continuing. Did you find it hard to define?  I personally see it as formless, having no boundaries and eternal. All we can do is point to the Read More

    The power of Positive Neuroscience

    August 7th, 2015

      He was a big man wearing black gum boots, tracksuit pants, a bright red scarf, a crash helmet and carrying a crutch.  His arms were fumbling as he was trying to exit the train at Town Hall station in Sydney.  A small Rail Corp man grabbed hold of his hand, leading him out of the train to safety.  They stood there on the platform holding hands, the two men.  When the Rail Corp man left, our man first stood Read More

    The truth about changing habits: Six points for outsmarting your mind!

    July 3rd, 2015

      We all at times find ourselves in a situation where there is a need to change a habit – yet we often find it hard to do so. Before you go ahead changing habits consider your reason for the change. Be careful not to strive to be a kale eating marathon running yogi, it may not be sustainable and it may not be realistic for you either.  Also consider what you are hoping to get out of the change.  Read More

    3 Ways to start mindful eating

    June 5th, 2015

    Diets don’t work – Mindful Eating is the healthy alternative. Have you ever looked at your plate and considered where all the food has come from and that the sun, earth, rain and human effort are inherent in every mouthful? Have you ever really checked in with whether it is the tummy, mouth, eyes, nose, heart or mind that makes you want to eat? Have you ever observed if the second, third and fourth mouthful tastes as good as the Read More

    Mindfulness Works!

    May 8th, 2015

      Often people ask what mindfulness has done for me, I can honestly say that it has changed my life experience. From the outside not much has changed (other than ageing) but inside so much calmer, kinder and less stressful. Seventy five percent of what we know about the brain we have learnt in the past three years.  This means we are much clearer on how to train and influence the brain for increased happiness, ease and resilience.  Mindfulness is Read More

    Your Easter ‘Diet’ is Having Fun and Loving Others

    April 2nd, 2015

    Do you sometimes think how convenient it would be if we didn’t have a body? Imagine if we were just floating minds that could interact and experience things.  We would not be bothered with having to get haircuts, showers, nor would we have the challenge of keeping fit or the bother of gaining weight! It is our sense of disconnect from the body makes possible the almost abusive relationship we at times have with it.  Sometimes we eat and drink Read More

    Can You Sense Your State of Connectedness?

    March 9th, 2015

    Like millions of snowflakes make snow, so humans are little individual snowflakes that collectively can be seen as snow. Often we hear people speak of our ‘true nature’, and what they often think of is our state of love, connectedness and compassion (snow). Both ‘natures’ are as true as each other, we are both snow as well as an individual ‘flake’. We can choose to focus on our ‘flakiness’ or the fact that we are all snow. When we forget Read More

    Inspiration, intuition – are you in tune?

    January 20th, 2015

    Many years ago I was looking for employment in a new place. I met someone who said the right things and was keen for us to work together. The work area was exactly what I loved doing so I was keen to make it work and yet… my gut was screaming ‘No!!’. My mind overrode the gut by saying; ‘oh it is just your ego, you are in competition, it is your stuff’, and so we went ahead. However shortly Read More

    Overcoming the threat response of avoidance

    January 20th, 2015

    Feeling good or not feeling bad, are the drivers of our lives – until we become conscious. And then, through that, we have other options. The threat response of ‘avoidance’ shouts louder in our system than does the pleasure or peace response of ‘moving towards’. This is simply in the best interests of our survival. The monkey in the tree eating a banana needs to drop the banana and escape if a leopard is climbing towards it. I think it Read More

    How to Max your Mind Potential

    January 20th, 2015

    “Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.” ― Winston Churchill We have potential beyond our wildest imagination. The other night I dreamt of walking through a beautiful piazza during a warm evening. The square was framed by stairs, which led to restaurants, all full of people enjoying good food, company and music. As I walked through the square, music by Puccini and other Italian romantics could be heard. In my head I Read More

    The Pollyanna Perspective

    January 20th, 2015

    I was walking through Sydney’s Kings Cross on my way to work. It was 7AM and the place was fresh and clean. A cleaner was busy getting the last stains off the glass of the phone box. The garbage collection was in full swing, and all the streets were still damp from the intense pressure cleaning. The following day, I passed a man having a psychotic episode. He was in an insanely angry state threatening everyone who walked passed. I Read More


    January 20th, 2015

    The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when contemplating the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein Are you curious? Do you wonder things? Do you question and ponder? Are you at times speechless at the sight of nature’s Read More

    The Victim

    January 20th, 2015

    I used to have a habit of complaining about my husband. I would complain about what he had said to me, what he did or didn’t do – it was very unhealthy. You might ask yourself why is she sharing this? If you tend to complain about someone or something this is for you, if you used to do it, keep smiling! In effect we played a game of parent/child, I blamed and accused, the focus was on him and Read More


    January 20th, 2015

    ‘Compassion and love are not mere luxuries. As the source both of inner and external peace, they are fundamental to the continued survival of our species.’ – His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama The word is Love, not ‘in love’ which is a kind of temporary insanity, but a healthy all embracing love. A wise love that knows all humans as little expressions of life, little creatures rushing around hoping to run into a little kindness, appreciation and ideally adoration! Read More

    Getting real about Self Care – it is not about buying stuff

    January 20th, 2015

    How good are you at taking care of yourself – I am not talking here about the occasional massage nor a night out… or even a holiday. With information overload, multitasking, the increase of pace and distractions – there is an increasing need for self-care as these factors in themselves generate stress and anxiety. Whether it is in workplaces or with individuals, (including those who are trying to find the time for an appointment…) the issue of working too many Read More

    The Now

    January 20th, 2015

    What is the Now? It is always the Now, our existence is always in the now, and when we sink into it; we often sense our profound interconnectedness with all life. In the Now we get a break from ourselves. We tend to divide time into useful time, waste of time, the time we look forward to, (which tends to elude us when it actually arrives!) there is even time that we have to kill! The result is that we Read More

    Silliness is underrated

    January 20th, 2015

    Bubble is nudging her owner; looking up at him with tail wagging as proof of the delight she is experiencing. It is a beautiful morning and she is out walking with her owner and her mate ‘Buster’. There is life all around, yachts in the harbour, sunrise glittering in the water and everywhere people and dogs are out exercising. Bubble’s owner however is not so enthusiastic; he has a grim expression on his face and arms crossed. He looks as Read More

    Is your mind working well for you?

    January 20th, 2015

    What kind of experiences does your mind generate? Every experience leaves a trace on your brain and makes it more likely that you will do that same thing again. So what are you repeating? What habits are you creating? What does your mind tend to circle around? Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. “…plasticity Read More

    ‘The cure for the pain is the pain.’ Rumi

    January 20th, 2015

    We are geared toward avoiding anything unpleasant and move toward pleasant. The nervous system of a baby immediately distinguishes between pain and pleasure and enables the move away from pain and towards pleasure. Avoidance is biologically hardwired in us for our survival. Add to this distraction which we learn early on. It is a tried and true method for stopping crying in a baby. We can use a loud noise, a shiny object, a funny face or unhealthy food. Zoom ahead to Read More

    If we really understood each other we would simply love each other

    January 20th, 2015

    Jack Kornfeld tells a true story:

The mother of a teenage boy sits in court each day watching the trial of another teenage boy who killed her son. On the day of the verdict, at which time he is found guilty, she stands up and yells at the boy “I’m going to kill you.”

Several months go by and the mother visits the teenager in jail. She brings him some things that he may be able to use while in prison. Thus Read More

    A Challenge

    January 20th, 2015

    10 Day Recipe for less stress, less rumination, less negative self talk, less reactivity and more inner peace and joy. Stress, rumination and negativity are mostly just bad habits, with awareness and the right ingredients these habits can be changed. All you need is intention, the right ingredients and a bit of practice for 10 days! There is no cost, no risk and no pressure! You only have to make one promise; When one day you don’t live up to Read More

    The Murmur

    January 20th, 2015

    Have you heard it? The murmur in the background that tends to say either, ‘I am not good enough’ or ‘it is not good enough’? Both ‘murmurings’ make it hard for us to be present, they almost suck us out of the present. The present becomes a means to and end, a means toward feeling good enough or making life good enough according to expectations. We may not all be aware of the murmuring but once we start to pay Read More

    How does your garden grow?

    January 20th, 2015

    Are you tending to your Inner Garden? What happens when we don’t tend to our garden? It is likely that the more precious plants die, the weeds may survive depending on the soil, sun and rain; in other words the circumstances will determine what does well. Would it make sense to only tend to the garden when most of the precious plants are wilting or when it is completely overgrown with weeds? No? Why does it make sense that we Read More

    Who is talking? ‘Precious me’ or ‘not good enough me’

    January 20th, 2015

    Take three minutes….. Notice what happens in your body, notice the feelings and notice the thoughts when you read the following; ‘If you wandered the whole world and looked everywhere, you would still not find any human more worthy of your love than you’. What did you notice?  If you in every cell of your body thought: ‘oh yes of course, gorgeous wonderful me’, then don’t bother reading the article, if you didn’t then read on…. Does it matter if Read More

    How courageous are you in revealing all your faces?

    January 20th, 2015

    Moving from Stuckness to Flow It is always the unhealthiest or most immature aspect of us that keeps us from living in physical, mental and emotional health. The unhealthiest aspect in a given moment emerges on an ongoing basis – we are never done… And that is perfect too. We all have at least four faces, naturally they exist on a continuum; There is the face we present to the outside world, often confident, perhaps even charming or funny, clever, Read More

    The brain learns from what it attends to

    January 20th, 2015

    Have you ever thought about how what you pay attention to affects your life? Right now is an exciting time to be on this earth as we are constantly learning more about the relationship between our minds and our brains. Here are a few things that are really worth knowing, as this information gives us reason to be more mindful around what we think and how much we think about certain things! What flows through your mind sculpts your brain. Read More

    See the un-noticed

    January 20th, 2015

    In the Loving Kindness Meditation we are encouraged to notice and then send loving kindness to those people in our lives that we tend not to notice. This could be a check out person, your dry cleaning person, a parking attendant, a person who comes and waters plants at your work, etc. A participant of one of our Mindfulness courses decided she was really going to do this. On a regular basis she would get petrol from the same service Read More

    Grilled Lobster or a Boiled Telephone?

    January 20th, 2015

    When I order a grilled lobster why doesn’t anyone ever just give me a boiled telephone! These are the words of Salvador Dali and it made me think how predictable we are and how much we all conform. The other day I asked for cheese with my baguette in a French café in Sydney and the waitress said: ‘We can only do ham and cheese’. I suggested to just throw the ham away, but she replied that it was not Read More

    Christmas without Worry and Concern?

    January 20th, 2015

    I was talking to someone about Christmas and she said that she just feels like crawling under the doona and forgetting the whole thing. She is Danish and it is cold and dark at Christmas time. The pain she wanted to sleep away is based on not living up to the ideal version of Christmas. If we find ourselves alone during Christmas it is not a big leap for a creative and experienced mind jumper to conclude that we are Read More


    January 20th, 2015

    Happiness, the sense of wellbeing that we experience from what we bring to the world rather than what we get from the world. The other day I was sitting in the most beautiful surroundings in a resort and someone commented: ‘who are we not to be happy when we can access this.’ It made me think whether we draw a parallel between experiencing pleasure and having a good life –can pleasure alone give us quality of life? Genuine happiness in Read More

    Finding Presence through RAIN

    January 20th, 2015

    This is a good little model to connect mindfully with what is going on for us in any given moment: R   stands for recognising what is happening, recognising what is going on in the moment. Question to ask ourselves: ‘What is going on?’ A   is for allowing. Question to ask is; ‘Can I just be with this right now?’ or in Tolle terms; saying ‘yes’ to the Now I     is for investigate and intimacy. Question to ask is: ‘Where do Read More

    New Years Resolutions

    January 20th, 2015

    What do we do with this whole thing around New Year’s resolutions? I have received much good info over the past week about how I can create the year I want and the changes I want. One starts by asking: ‘What must occur for me to feel like 2011 has been a success?’ You are perfect and yet there is room for improvement! Do we sometimes forget that we are perfect, that there is a beautiful, loving and innocent part Read More

    Embrace not feeling great!

    January 20th, 2015

    Sometimes we just wake up in a low mood, the world feels grey and perhaps, even heavy. When it happens, I often try to determine what is contributing to this feeling. I scan the previous day to determine if there are lingering negative feelings that may have resulted from unpleasant experiences. I also consider if the approach of the day is filled with some sort of dread or anticipation of an unpleasant experience. Sometimes, I simply cannot determine what is Read More

    Breaking free of our expectations

    January 20th, 2015

    The father of a good friend died today, he was 89 and had slowly been dying for some time. He had a marvellous life, was larger than life, was involved and engaged in his community and blessed with a sunny disposition. I rang my friend who said that even though she knew that he was going to die, she still sobbed and was so very sad when she heard that he had died. We talked about the fact that there Read More

    Undoing the thinking of our forbearers!

    January 20th, 2015

    Being in the Now seems to be easier and more natural within some cultures rather than others, and culture is influenced by nature. How can we cultivate the state of mind that anchors us in being, in the Now, in the flow of life when it contradicts the strong influence of our forbearers? Our sense of the world unfolds moment by moment, ever changing. Each discreet moment has its roots in the previous moment and is a seed for the Read More

    Are Your Perceptions Blocking the True Wonder of Life?

    January 20th, 2015

    A violinist was busking at a metro station in Washington DC on a cold January morning during rush hour. He played six Bach pieces, lasting around 45 minutes.  During his performance, 1097 people passed him by. Of that total 7 stopped to listen, and 19 gave him money.  He collected $32 in total.  When he finished playing nobody applauded; no one even noticed he had stopped playing. The violinist was Joshua Bell, former child prodigy and now one of the Read More

    Why do we believe our happiness is external?

    January 20th, 2015

    ‘The great arises out for the small things that are honoured and cared for. Everybody’s life really consists of small things. Greatness is a mental abstraction and favourite of the ego. The paradox is that the foundation for greatness is the honouring of the small things of the present moment instead of pursuing the idea of greatness.’  ~ E Tolle. Ken Wilber says it in another way: ‘It is about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary.’ We tend to believe Read More

    Like weeing your pants….

    January 20th, 2015

    You have held back and held back and finally let go. You get a sense of relief, however this is quickly followed by ‘oh no’ and ‘how can I fix things and clean up the mess?’ We are talking about how it feels when we react inappropriately to someone. How can we intercept our ‘normal’ or habitual reactions, those that are destructive and don’t serve us? This is a common question in training and coaching. We find ourselves in conflict Read More

    Time Management equals Life Management

    January 20th, 2015

    To create the life you want – step out of reacting and into becoming proactive! A story: Father and son are at the beach collecting ‘stuff’ for the new aquarium. The son immediately fills the bucket with sand; the father asks him how he will then fit the stones and other larger items. The sand is tipped out and larger items placed in the bucket, finally comes the sand, naturally filling up all the gaps. This story represents the essence Read More

    So what is Gratitude?

    January 20th, 2015

    Gratitude has been found to dramatically affect individual and group performance. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” – Cicero Research had three groups of students keep journals, one group focusing on gratitude, the other on events and incidents that were frustrating and the third group writing down neutral events. The gratitude journaling group compared to the others experienced: fewer physical symptoms such as headaches and colds feeling better about their lives Read More

    What is keeping us from using the Strength Perspective?

    January 20th, 2015

    The main factor which can keep us from using the Strength Perspective is having beliefs which oppose the concept, so here is a story: A man went off to war, survived and arrived home to hear that his village had been ransacked by rebels who burnt his house down.  He was also told that his son had died, his body burnt beyond recognition.  He wept while clinging on to a blanket that had belonged to his son.  He mourned so Read More

    Making Deposits into the Emotional Bank Account

    January 20th, 2015

    Ponder the ways that you invest/contribute to the important relationships in your life, private and professional.  Is it done predominantly through words, acts, quality time, gifts or physical touch. (the latter perhaps not in the professional setting…) Gary Chapman defined these different ways of showing that you care in his book, ‘Five Love Languages’.   You can do a test here to find your own Love Language: http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=lovelanguages The first point to make about making deposits into the Emotional Bank account Read More